2018 KIA STINGER | KS

It’s Monday. I know instinctively that it’s 2025, but I don’t think about the year or the month or even the day when I get out of bed. I know two things; my friends are gone now, and I need to look for employment.

I’d lived in or around Seattle several times. I was actually born in Puyallup, and through the course of 29 moves, I’d been to Seattle twice - one time for business in 2019 and 2020, and one time to attempt a permanent move in 2025. While it was understood that my move in 2020 was a temporary move for business, my tenure in 2025 was intended to be permanent, and then one day it very much wasn’t. I could have looked for a new job, and I could have taken mutual aid to stay until I did, but I chose to move back to Kansas so that I could live on family-owned property. Stay at home, not pay rent, make a savings.

In the meantime, I lived out in the sticks, so I had to make do with what we had, and what we had was a 1993 Ford Ranger. The family story is that dad walked onto the dealership and told the salesman that he was going to spit tobacco on the sales floor until they sold him a cheap truck. After he died, and 870,000 miles later, it was mine.

Now, I love me a good pickup truck, but it was plagued with issues. One time I went over a pothole a little faster than I should have, and the idler pulley snapped in half. One time I went around a corner while shifting, and the serpentine belt got caught in something and snapped. When I moved to KS, all four off-road tires had obvious cracking from disuse, and the engine went through oil kind of fast, and the A/C didn’t work. That truck took me from my farmhouse to Topeka every morning, and it did it just as well as any other car.

When I got an actual full-time job instead of the on-call taxi work I did for BNSF, the truck really started to show its age. Constant overheating, rough shifts, and gearbox issues. I started the job in August, and then immediately identified the need for a new car.

Now, I had played Forza Horizon 4 in college, and one of the cars in that game stood out - the Kia Stinger. Kia had not yet earned their respect when that car came out. Even though it failed (in a sense - I think it was a success), it catapulted Kia and Hyundai into luxury cars, and proved Kia could get out of its own way if it ever wanted to. Once they tasted the market, however, they got addicted to it. Kia, who had always made econoboxes with weird exceptions, now had a car to go head-to-head and cock-to-cock with BMW and Audi. The Kia Stinger looked cool. I used it a lot. I really had my first “attainable” dream car.

When I found out that a dealership had one nearby, I jumped on it. I didn’t care that it was fresh out of warranty, I had learned how to repair cars with my Ranger. I didn’t care that it was scratched and had taillight damage - it was legally sound, and comfortable to drive. I knew I’d drive it back to Seattle someday.

It’s a few months later. It’s February 18th, 2026. It’s a Wednesday, which means it’ll be a light day at work. I’m only halfway through my shift when my friends and I get the news. SB244 has passed - with it, transgender people were back on the menu. You could report a transgender person in the wrong bathroom and sue for $1,000 in damages. It became illegal to use the “wrong” bathroom in official buildings. Worst of all, if your ID had used the gender marker that differed from your birth certificate, it was invalidated. No grace period, no ifs ands or buts - immediate invalidation. I drive a bus for a living. I had to go.

By this time, I’d really gotten comfortable with the car. It’s huge, abnormally so, and also quite spacious. Every review of the Kia Stinger brings up the liftback and the space in the back, but it’s hard to get it across. I’ve delivered a toilet with that car. I’ve delivered a lawnmower with that car. I’ve delivered 4 chairs with that car. It’s massive. It’s practical. I knew I wanted to keep it.

A nearby neighbor saw me at a gas station with a skirt on and followed me home with a firearm he brandished at the Casey’s by my house. I had to call my neighbor and asked him to have his gun ready in case things got messy. Thankfully, they didn’t, but he did shoot near the pickup truck that guy drove in behind me, and it caused him to back off. Days after I left, the county sheriff had arrested someone loitering by the house. The neighbors called it in. He had materials to start a house fire on him.

That extra space always left me room to brag. The 365 horsepower V6 always left me satisfied and happy. The leather seats always left me comfortable after a short commute. Now, it was time to run.

The commute to Seattle wasn’t all that bad - three days, with my girlfriend helping, and a sunset to chase. The stops and drives were perfectly fine, but I arrived without a home. Thankfully, I had arranged for temporary housing in Seattle, and my experience driving buses was going to help me get a job easily, but I didn’t have a lot of energy. Not that it mattered - there was work to do. Every day I had to work was a day that I enjoyed, but the best parts of the day - the ones that kept me going - was knowing I’d get to ride in my rocket ship before and after work.

What’s your favorite damage done to the car?

Oh, man. Kind of recently, I hit my own car with my bus. We park in the spots the buses occupy at work, so the procedure is to move the bus, then park the car. I forgot to check a mirror and also parked kind of close to the bus, and when I was backing out, I scraped part of my bumper. It didn’t dent, and I’m not bothered to fix it, but it was kind of funny when it happened, and it’s a good laugh to talk about.

What’s your favorite story with the car?

When my girlfriend and I were driving to Seattle, we stopped by a mexican place on the way up. They have a side that’s just a bag full of bite-sized hash browns. They’re one of my favorite fast foods, and I got a bunch of stuff to dip it into. The guac and sour cream were fine, but the hot nacho cheese didn’t have the lid on properly, and it spilled fucking everywhere. All over my center console, some on my carpet in the back, and a bit on my girlfriend’s cardigan. We refer to this as the Nacho Cheese Disaster when we talk about this. Every time a dog gets into the car, it goes straight for the center console.

How does this car make you feel?

Successful. Short answer and long answer. It was a lot of work to get this car, and I love it dearly.

Isn’t it kind of weird to interview yourself at the end of your own article?

Yes.